Flash Fiction

It’s not my damn baby


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Staples, you big out of control American office superstore chain you. Before arriving in the USA, I didn’t know it was possible to combine awful customer service with outrageous platitudes, then deliver the lot without irony. I wanted to print out my second book for proofing. At 10am I was told it’d be ready by Read More

F%&K your stick figure family


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If you’ve been nowhere near a road in the last four years, there are these stick figure stickers people attach to their rear windows. In an effort to show how special and different their family is through the use of a two-dimensional, mass-producible, cartoon form. Apparently stick figures were chosen due to the rapidly growing Read More

I sneezed one complete hot chip out of my nose


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You know that feeling you get when you’re about to sneeze? Well I got it. While I had a hot chip in my mouth. While sharing a bowl of them, with a friend at a pub. So I had to decide. Spit it out, or try to beat the sneeze with a quick swallow. I Read More

I was asked to leave a shopping centre for wearing a hood


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Last week, I was asked to leave a shopping centre for wearing a hood. Let me be more specific. I was asked to leave the Canelands Shopping Centre in Mackay, Queensland, for wearing a penguin suit. It’s a onesie and the hood was actually my beak, eyes and head. So I’m a comedian, and for Read More

Beware miners bearing gifts


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So my shows in Mackay, Middlemount, Glenden, Dysart & Moranbah in Queensland are all run and done. Thanks so much to the Anywhere Theatre Festival and all the wonderful people who came along. Maybe, possibly and perhaps – see you next year? Anyway I did promise four chapters of my book, and so far I’ve only published Read More

Eight sneezes gets you one big what?


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So my shows in Mackay, Middlemount, Glenden, Dysart & Moranbah in Queensland are all run and done. Thanks so much to the Anywhere Theatre Festival and all the wonderful people who came along. Maybe, possibly and perhaps – see you next year? Anyway I did promise four chapters of my book, and so far I’ve only published Read More

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