Author: Xavier Toby

Posted on February 16, 2018 by Xavier Toby

Barnaby crashes the custard truck

This article first appeared on The Big Smoke The public’s outrage to Barnaby Joyce’s affair has been understandable, but gazing at the history of similar actions, don’t be surprised if nothing happens to him. Barnaby Joyce and Vikki Campion have officially been outed for swapping gravy, dancing the forbidden Polka, and indulging in gland-to-gland combat, Read More

Posted on February 4, 2018 by Xavier Toby

Solve fat by letting the animals run free

This article first appeared in the Herald Sun Every year around now, my NYE resolution to lose weight and get fitter falls apart. It’s the number one resolution around the world, so I’m guessing I’m not alone. Growing up and out, I was a chubby child, a roly-poly teenager, meaty in my twenties, flabby through Read More

Posted on January 24, 2018 by Xavier Toby

My Twenty-Four Hours Trading Bitcoin

This article first appeared in the Sunday Herald Sun Should you buy Bitcoin? Yes, definitely. If everyone keeps buying, that raises the price for people who already own some, like me, and it’s your money so I don’t care if you lose it. This week, while watching the price ricochet around like a cocaine addicted Read More

Posted on January 17, 2018 by Xavier Toby

Camping is a conspiracy to prepare us for the end of days

This article first appeared in the Sunday Herald Sun As the next holiday season approaches, if one more person tells me how much I’m missing out by not going camping, I don’t know what I’ll do. Probably nothing, since I avoid confrontation like models avoid carbs, and the Australian men’s soccer, rugby union, basketball and Read More

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