A handy guide for spotting a racist in these multicultural times

(This article first appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail)

HERE’S one quick way to work out if someone’s racist.

If they say, “I’m not racist, but …” they’re definitely racist.

Some racist Australians

Really, that phrase should be outlawed. As a conversational gambit, it just makes no sense.

I mean if it actually worked, nobody would ever again be sent to prison.

In court all they’d have to say is: “I’m not a murderer, but … I accidentally mistook my husband for a knife holder 37 times.”

Then the judge would say: “While all the evidence indicates that you’re guilty, you’ve used the infamous “I’m not but” defence which, we all know, is infallible. Therefore, case dismissed. Off ya go tiger. Try not to do it again, ya cheeky scamp.”

So I think the phrase, “I’m not racist but …”, Should be replaced with the phrase “I am a racist, and …”

For example: “I am a racist AND, we just shouldn’t let any of them into the country.”

Or: “I am a racist AND you just can’t trust them. I mean, have you seen what they put on their sandwiches?”

Or: “I am a racist AND I only eat the white marshmallows.”

Now, just say you suspect a person of being racist but they’ve cleverly avoiding using the phrase, “I’m not racist, but …”

It’s not uncommon. Some racists can be surprisingly crafty.

So, to put it very simply, here’s what racism is.

Mentioning someone’s race is not racist in itself, as long as you use the correct terminology and not an insult.

Then if you mention someone’s race and say something negative about that person, that’s still not racist. As long as you keep it personal.

But if you say someone is inferior because of their race, well, that’s racism.

Let’s pretend that tall people are a race. Mentioning that you think someone is tall is not racist. Or saying, “that tall guy is an idiot” is again, not racist.

It only becomes a problem if you say: “All tall people are morons. The freaks.” Definitely racist.

Taking that example further, if you say that: “The tall comedian in the striped shirt who talks about racism is not at all funny. His ears stick out and his breath smells like old cheese.”

Well, that’s deeply hurtful to me and I think it’s also extremely unfair. Honestly, they don’t stick out that much, and I brush my teeth all the time.

One thing it’s not, however, is racist.

But if you said: “All tall people are lazy, they smell, their food tastes weird and they can’t drive. It’s just their nature.” Well, that’s extremely racist.

Another common mistake that people make when it comes to race is thinking that one or more examples proves a general rule.

If you saw one tall person being unfunny or even a series of tall people all being extremely unfunny, that does not prove that all tall people aren’t funny. No matter how much their ears stick out or their breath smells.

All it proves is that you saw some tall comedians who aren’t funny.

It’s a scientific fact that no race is inferior or superior to any other so no matter how many examples you have, when it comes to race, those examples never prove one single thing.


My first ever E-BOOK has just launched and is available for FREE!

Signup HERE for future posts and instructions on how to get it:



This article first appeared in The Brisbane Courier Mail: