Posted on December 12, 2014 by Peter Toby

Exclusive Pic Leonardo DiCaprio Leaving Miami Nightclub With 20 In Tow

Leonardo DiCaprio leaving a Miami Nightclub during Art Basel with twenty in tow. Unverified image, but it seems legit.

So we have Leo with:

1) Log Lady – Leo’s keeping her sweet for some Twin Peaks action

2) Oprah – The big LD is writing a book, and wants in the club

3) Spider-Man – for radioactive glow in the dark good times.

4) Barack Obama – may as well party. Can’t get anything done at work

5) The CIA Interrogation Report – great for sex tips and contains no human rights abuses at all, says Fox News and nobody with a brain

6, 7 & 8) Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Grange – All three are magic in the sack

9) The Death Star- see Urban Dictionary definition. Or don’t

10) Krampus – Christmas is coming, and Leo has a hit-list he needs help with

11) Giant Octopus – Eight arms are much more fun than two

12) Ebola – Leo preparing for his next role where he plays Ebola. Best actor is in the bag

13) Bison – A protected species, having one of these along ensures that the paparazzi won’t shoot.

14) Corn – green with envy because it’s not Leo, and yellow because it’s happy to be there

15) Ozzy – Only person to party as hard as Leo. Ask Ozzy, he was there

16) Julia Roberts in a bikini – the iconic pretty woman

17 & 18) Two riot police – Just in case anyone is charged with anything, having them in attendance means nothing will ever get past a grand jury

19) He-Man – Only man on the planet as manly as Leo

20) Edward from Twilight – The prettiest woman of them all

 

This article first appeared on Buzzfeed:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/xavierft/exclusive-pic-leonardo-dicaprio-leaving-miami-nigh-116kb

 

Xavier Toby is a writer and comedian

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