May 2014

Your Kid is Fat? That’s Your Fault


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Aussie kids are some of the fattest in the world. The ‘Active Healthy Kids Australia’ report card recently graded our kids a ‘D-’. Barely above a fail, and certainly nowhere near fridge-worthy. If there were some sort of United Nations run school camp, the Aussie children would be picked on for being fatty boombas. By the kids Read More

Text Messaging – The Coward’s Way of Communicating


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This article first appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail on Wednesday, May 21, 2014. If you’ve got something big to say, don’t say it in a text. It’s the coward’s way of communicating. It’s the modern day equivalent of sending a pigeon with a note attached, when you know the person it’s intended for is Read More

What Those ‘My Family’ Stickers Really Say About Your Family


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This article first appeared on WA Today, The Age, SMH, Brisbane Times etc. News coming out of America is that ‘My Family’ stickers are putting wholesome family units at risk of attack from predators, robbers and other nefarious types. If you’ve been nowhere near a road in the last four years, or you’ve been fortunate Read More

Was the WA Shark cull a success? Let’s ask Bronwyn the Great White Shark


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“Hey Jon, I reckon I’m going to swim out to that buoy,” I said. “Only the tourists do that,” he smiled. “And anyone else who doesn’t know about Bronwyn.” Last week I was in Albany, Western Australia, staying with writer and comedian Jon Doust, doing some shows and going for morning swims. Bronwyn is a 5.3m Read More

Schapelle Corby – Why Does Anyone Care?


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So Schapelle Corby is in the news yet again for doing nothing important, special or noteworthy. Every time I see her I think to myself, ‘I don’t care.’ Then I think, ‘Why does anyone care?’ Schapelle Corby is a human being, and for that reason I hope she gets all the things that every human being should Read More

“Fuck the Poor”? No. Fuck that video.


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You know that “Fuck the Poor” video? The one that went viral a while ago. Well I say, “Fuck that Video”. Apologies for the swearing. I don’t usually swear but they started it. When I watched the video I didn’t think, “We should do more to help the poor.” What I immediately thought was, “What Read More