Enough about the Labor leadership already


This amazing little cartoon first appeared in the Daily Telegraph.

This article first appeared about two weeks ago. On the exact same day Julia Gillard was replaced with Kevin Rudd. If you don’t believe me, check WA Today, where this article was first published. Best timing ever? Or the worst?

So what’s to be learnt from all this? Whenever you see me place a bet, then if you want a sure winner, bet on the opposite. Also, I talk about the very wrong prediction I made below in my very next post…

Everyone needs to stop talking about the Labor Party Leadership. Right now. Seriously, I stopped reading articles about it three months ago and every time it comes up now, it just makes me sad.

If you’re a Labor politician spreading rumours, then you are a disgrace to your party, the people you are supposed to be representing and yourself. Any chance Labor has of winning the election is being destroyed by your backstabbing.

If you’re a Labor politician who believes that Labor’s only chance of winning the next election is with a new leader, then you need to resign. Do it tonight. Clean out your office and goodbye. Leave your seat for someone who believes that Labor can win with the current leader, because that’s who’ll be leading them to the election and if you hang around, you’re in the way.

Kevin Rudd challenged for the leadership and he lost. He promised to not challenge again, so now even if he challenged and won, his words would be thrown back in his face undermining whatever else he said.

You’re a Labor politician. Instead of worrying about the leadership, why not try some politics? You know, improving the situation through developing policy and campaigning. Like it says in your job description.

I don’t really know why Kevin would want the job anyway. If the polls are correct, Labor is going to get smashed no matter what happens. If he waits until after the election, my guess is that people will be begging him to take the job.

I know Julia came to power in a coup of sorts, but she challenged once, and I was fine with Kevin having one go. I wasn’t barracking for him, but this isn’t the footy and if he’d won I would not have had a problem. This continual conjecture passed ridiculous in January.

If you’re a Liberal politician, nice work. Keep spreading those rumours. It’s an excellent ploy for removing any need for you to develop any actual policies. It’s the equivalent of doing no study but still getting top marks in an exam, doing no training but kicking ten goals in a grand final, and not doing anything at work for years, but still getting promoted to CEO.

Also Liberal Politicians, nice work on not mentioning that Tony Abbott only beat Malcolm Turnbull by one vote in that leadership stoush, and opinion polls still suggest that Malcolm’s much more popular. It’s curious how that fact seldom gets a mention in the media.

If you’re in the media, stop writing about it. Stop twisting words, stop reporting rumours, stop making things up.  I don’t want to hear about it again until someone says, ‘I declare that I am challenging for the leadership of the Labor party.’ Actually, don’t even mention that. Wait until the Labor Party has a new leader, and then report it. Everything else is an annoying waste of time.

Unless those in the media who continually put this issue on the front page want Labor to lose. If that’s the case, which I suspect it is, then as you were. An impartial press, the fourth estate and journalistic integrity? Those concepts belong in a past where Rupert Murdoch didn’t own nearly everything.

‘I hear there’s another Labor leadership challenge,’ says journalist one.

‘Where did you hear that?’ asks journalist two.

‘Well, I just said it,’ journalist one replies.

‘That’s the front page done,’ says the editor. ‘Let’s go the pub and write an article about the emergence of craft beers and ciders. Then tomorrow we can do a piece about the best hangover cures, and what’s great about lazy Saturday mornings. Top notch journalism well done everyone!’

If a record keeps playing the same tune, it’s broken. If a computer is stuck on the same screen it’s frozen, and if the news keeps reporting the exact same issue, it’s no longer new and I don’t even like repeats of Seinfeld or the Simpsons. So there’s no way I’m going to tolerate the same news story over and over and over again.

When the media talks about politics, I expect actual politics. Policies, evaluations of performance, plans for the future. You know, stuff about running the country. The reasons we have politicians in the first place.

If you’re not in the media or politics, you can help with this situation as well. Stop reading about it. Ignore it, and it will go away. Media companies operate to make a profit, and if there’s no audience, they won’t make any money so will be forced to cover something else.

Start with this opinion piece. If you’ve made it this far, stop right now and commit to paying no more attention to this ridiculous issue.

Still here? Well the article is done, so it’s time to go anyway.

If you’d like to point out that by penning this piece I’m still talking about the issue, so contributing to the problem, please do so in the comments section below. You’re also free to point out that this article is as ill-informed and pointless as a piece about the benefits of eating stone fruit. Just be aware that I’ve done it already.

Now I’m off to read about what’s really happening in Canberra. I just wish more people would write about it.

On a side note, what happened to the ‘u’ in labor? Isn’t the word ‘labour’? Doesn’t matter.