March 2013

After a Month off the Grog – What Happens Next?


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Right, it’s March and I’m drinking again. So what was the point of taking a month off? And what happens next? The biggest change is that I will no longer be drinking before or during comedy performances. As a comedian I can drink while at work, and often alcohol forms part of the payment, but Read More

Evolution, Racism and an Inflatable Lara Croft


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So I’ve discovered using the power of research that all racism is baseless. Racism is based on the belief that one race is better than another, and it’s just not true. Never ever. Which is a massive statement. Usually when someone says ‘never ever’ it’s complete rubbish, and they actually mean, ‘all the freaking time’. Read More

Twenty Reasons the Football Season Will Save Us All


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Outside it’s getting colder, our cricket team is posting soccer scores and still nobody can say what the ‘scandal’ part of the drugs in sport scandal actually involves. Yet it’s the time of year for football fans to be filled with happiness and hope, and not just because Brendan Fevola has just released a book. Read More

Did I have a drink on March 1st? YES OF COURSE I DID DON’T BE STUPID


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It’s now well past the end of March. So what happened? And why has it taken me so long to write about it? Well this is the first time in weeks that I’ve been sober enough to put together a coherent sentence. That’s not true, I’ve been busy. Mostly drinking. Anyway, towards the end of Read More

Is it Possible to be Just a Little Bit Racist?


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If I hear something racist, sometimes when I pull the person up for it they’ll say something like; ‘Ease up champ. Settle down sport. Back off tiger. It’s only a little bit racist.’ Is that even possible? To be only a little bit racist? Here are some examples of the racist comments I’ve heard people Read More

Vote for ME! I should TOTES be the next POPE


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It’s in the Catholic Rulebook, more commonly known as the Bible, that any Catholic can be Pope. The next one should totes be me. To those who say, ‘Why you?’ I reply, ‘Why not?’ Just in case that flawless argument isn’t enough, let me expand. At only 34 years old, I’m good for at least Read More

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