Anthony Mundine apologises to nation. ‘Hey Australia, sorry for being a dickhead.’

Anthony MundineAfter weeks of spraying incoherent insults like a broken sprinkler, and then refusing to shake hands with Daniel Geale following their fight, Anthony Mundine has today released a simple one-sentence statement.

‘Hey Australia, sorry for being a dickhead.’

In an exclusive interview he went further.

‘Win or lose, a man don’t refuse to shake hands after a fight. A man don’t hide behind no entourage and a man don’t pick on another man’s kin. So I’m changing. I’m not even a man, so I’ll no longer be known as “the man”. From now on, it’s just “man”. Or “the boxer formerly known as the”.’

Mundine has also committed to undergoing a course in remedial English.

He said, ‘Next time, I hope to speak much more better for all you people and that. Sorry for my bad use of words. But.’

Mundine blamed his poor decision making on his entourage. ‘All those people, I put them around because they friendly and nod heaps. But all they do is say yes. Nobody one time said I was being a dickhead.’

He only discovered there was such a negative reaction to his comments, after employing journalist Paul Kent to read him newspaper articles.

‘I just didn’t know nothing,’ Mundine explained. ‘He used Google, which I always thought was for swimming.’

The interview then took on a bizarre twist. Mundine released a zip at the based of his skull, took off his skin, and out stepped Rove McManus.

Rove smiled. ‘As if Anthony Mundine was a real person. I got the idea from that Phoenix brother that’s still alive. Is this the best joke ever or what?’