January 2013

Will I make it a month? You can bet on it.


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It all starts tomorrow. Are you ready? I’m not. At all.However, I am willing to bet that I’m going to make it. So if I don’t make it the full 28 days, I will personally double all the donations I receive. That means you get your donation back, if you want it, and FebFast gets Read More

Worst Break-Up Ever? Ex-Tropical Cyclone Oswald Speaks Out


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Jilted lovers have been known to go to outlandish lengths to express their displeasure at the sudden ending of a relationship, but none so much as Ex-Tropical Cyclone Oswald. For days now, an inconsolable Oswald has been belting the Australia’s east coast with torrential rain and gale force winds. ‘I just miss her so much,’ Read More

You’re not Drinking. So why make a big thing out of it?


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‘Mate if you want to stop drinking, why make such a big thing out of it? If I wanted to stop, I’d just stop. Just like that,’ said the man in the pub. Who then scratched the underside of his mammoth spherical stomach, downed half a schooner in a gulp, put on another bet, then Read More

We Must Move Australia Day


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Australia Day is a sensational concept. A celebration of being Australian, with no rules about how you should do it. Okay, maybe one rule. Anything goes, as long as you’re not affecting or upsetting anyone, and that includes discrimination and breaking the important laws. Like murder and terrorism and stuff. That same rule applies to Read More

You’re Sober? Friends are Drinking? Here’s Ten Ways to Do Australia Day


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1) Games for the designated driver. Pour beer all over yourself, so it at least smells like you’ve been drinking. If you’re breath tested, this has the added bonus of confusing the hell out the police because you smell like you’re smashed. Then on the way home, stop off at a tattoo parlour, and refuse Read More

It’s Time to Change the Australian Flag


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The Australian flag isn’t Australian, it’s British. That big union jack in the corner has as much relevance to us as other typically British things like snow, Marmite, a bung economy, the Royal Family, talking about the weather, being miserable and Olympic Gold Medals. The British don’t even respect us. Their media takes any and Read More

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