The Lingerie Football League is NOT Sport

Hot chicks running around in their underwear playing footy. What’s wrong with that? It’s a genius combination of two of the greatest things on earth. Women and sport. Come on, it’s not hurting anybody.

Well according to the naysayers, the intellectuals and anyone else who’s completely eliminated the fun from their lives, the lingerie football league is degrading to women. Next they’ll be saying that cheerleaders, jelly wrestling, wet t-shirt competitions and strip clubs exploit and degrade women as well.

They seem to have forgotten about the ball. I don't think anyone cares.

You know what all those things involve? Getting paid a very decent wage for getting nude or near-nude. How many blokes working in offices or on jobsites would quit immediately if they could make more money for just nuding up in a bar? Or playing footy in their boxer shorts? Heaps, that’s how many.

Then again, I don’t know many men who anyone would pay to get nude. Most importantly, I don’t know many women who would pay any man, no matter how attractive, to get their gear off. Most men I know wouldn’t need to be paid anyway. All they need is an invitation.

So here’s a question. If someone chooses to appear naked or near-naked for the sexual stimulation of someone else, in return for money, is anyone being exploited? I think that’s up to the individual.

However, there is a stigma attached to anyone who works as a stripper, or competes in a wet t-shirt competition.  Also, I’ve been to a strip club. It’s pretty gross. So I’d say yes. Does that mean I was joking earlier? Yes, it most certainly does.

But the girls in the Lingerie Football League, they’re athletes and it’s a sport. So surely that’s different? No, it’s not. Once how attractive someone is becomes more important than sporting ability, no matter how capable and skilled they are, then it’s no longer a sport. If it was a real sport, the competitors would be chosen on merit, not chest size, and allowed to wear whatever helped them to compete best, not what was most likely to fall off.

So how do I explain beach volleyball? Well those women are chosen on ability.

Sure their outfits are skimpy, but if they wear more, it doesn’t take away from their medal chances.

The Lingerie Football League looks like it’s coming to Australia, and there’s little anybody can do about it. Will I watch it? Maybe when drunk and on a bucks weekend, which is also the last time I went to a strip club.

As long as it’s not illegal, and women are willing to be involved, and men are willing to pay, then it’s going to happen. Another soft porn channel, that sits alongside all the other adult channels on Pay TV. Just don’t ever kid yourself that it’s sport.

It’s depressing, but these are the only rules of our modern world. It’s the same for reality television. If someone is willing to do it, and people are willing to watch it, then it’s going to happen. If we keep going like this, and the shows keep getting more extreme, how far away is a real life ‘Hunger Games’? The world is overpopulated…

The Melbourne encore season of his show ‘Binge Thinking’ is on at the Butterfly Club from June 21-24. Tickets from: