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Most Aussie Thing to Happen This Week (imho) – Seagull Stars with the Ball at the Big Bash

This week, it’s something that happened last week, but whatevs. It’s pretty Australian to be late isn’t it? I don’t know, I can’t be stuffed finding out. Which I reckon is pretty Aussie too. Anyway, at a KFC Big Bash match last week, a seagull was doing absolutely nothing wrong – maybe just looking for chips, hot chips or french fries, depending on where you’re from – when it was suddenly and outrageously clocked by a cricket ball at extremely high velocity, and flattened. It was fair dinkum out cold. (Video below) Thousands breathed in sharply, fearing the worst for the poor bird. Fielder Rob Quiney delicately carried it from the field. Well, as delicately as an Aussie sportsman can hold a possibly dead bird. Think of a dog at a barbecue running around the backyard with a stolen sausage. Anyway, he placed it delicately(ish) behind the boundary rope, waved for someone to help (do they have vets at the cricket now?) then went back to the Big Bash. He was the only one though, as a couple of deliveries later, what followed was the biggest roar from any crowd at any event on any night for a very long time. The seagull was up! Every camera switched from the pretend action (cricket) to the real action (groggy bird). The seagull was visibly breathing in very deeply, and proceeded to stumble around for a few minutes on legs that must’ve felt like squashed chips (or hot chips, or French fries, or potatoes for the purists). Next, the seagull was back in the action. The ball and two fielders approached. The seagull, sensing its moment, made an attempt at revenge, mistaking its saviour for its attacker and flew for Quiney’s ankles. A near miss! Another huge roar from the crowd! Watch it here: Only in Australia can a bird widely regarded as a rat of the sky and pigeon from the beach, so quickly enter the hearts and minds of thousands, just for being belted. There’s nothing Australian about succeeding. What is far more respected is doing what you do, then copping one. Instead of...

This week, it’s something that happened last week, but whatevs. It’s pretty Australian to be late isn’t it? I don’t know, I can’t be stuffed finding out. Which I reckon is pretty Aussie too.

Anyway, at a KFC Big Bash match last week, a seagull was doing absolutely nothing wrong – maybe just looking for chips, hot chips or french fries, depending on where you’re from – when it was suddenly and outrageously clocked by a cricket ball at extremely high velocity, and flattened.

It was fair dinkum out cold. (Video below)

Thousands breathed in sharply, fearing the worst for the poor bird.

Fielder Rob Quiney delicately carried it from the field. Well, as delicately as an Aussie sportsman can hold a possibly dead bird. Think of a dog at a barbecue running around the backyard with a stolen sausage.

Seagull pic-2

Anyway, he placed it delicately(ish) behind the boundary rope, waved for someone to help (do they have vets at the cricket now?) then went back to the Big Bash.

He was the only one though, as a couple of deliveries later, what followed was the biggest roar from any crowd at any event on any night for a very long time.

The seagull was up!

Every camera switched from the pretend action (cricket) to the real action (groggy bird).

The seagull was visibly breathing in very deeply, and proceeded to stumble around for a few minutes on legs that must’ve felt like squashed chips (or hot chips, or French fries, or potatoes for the purists).

Next, the seagull was back in the action. The ball and two fielders approached. The seagull, sensing its moment, made an attempt at revenge, mistaking its saviour for its attacker and flew for Quiney’s ankles.

A near miss!

Another huge roar from the crowd!

Watch it here:

Only in Australia can a bird widely regarded as a rat of the sky and pigeon from the beach, so quickly enter the hearts and minds of thousands, just for being belted.

There’s nothing Australian about succeeding.

What is far more respected is doing what you do, then copping one. Instead of whinging, wallowing or otherwise complaining, if you then just get on with it, along with a cheeky swipe at your attacker, well that’s the way to become an Australian hero.

This seagull should run for Prime Minister.

That’s not saying much though. At this stage, I’d vote for anyone else apart from our current Prime Minister. Let me pronounce something that I think we can all agree with:

“I wish our Prime Minister was a seagull.”

In further seagull news, it was released into Yarra Park, and is apparently doing okay.

“You could be looking at just soft-tissue injury, it could be a fracture,” said Dr Colin Walker of the Melbourne Bird Veterinary Clinic. “You could be looking at some internal injury as well, but birds are fairly tough. Most things are repairable. If it was soft-tissue or internal, the fact that it’s still alive would carry a pretty good prognosis.”

All great news, considering this bird has a long flight ahead of it.

To Canberra.

This article first appeared in The Big Smoke:

http://thebigsmoke.com.au/2015/01/28/seagull-sees-stars-big-bash/

Xavier Toby is a writer and comedian

Follow me on Twitter: @xaviertoby

Like me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/xaviertoby

Buy my first book (read a bit for free):

http://uwap.uwa.edu.au/products/mining-my-own-business

For speaking engagements, comedy performances, writing assignments and all other enquires: me@xaviertoby.com


0

The most Australian thing to happen this week (imho) – Check your freedom of speech at the door thanks champ

My new regular column “The most Australian thing to happen this week (imho)”… For The Big Smoke. Check it out! A journalist went for a jog. Not for a drink, a smoke or a cry over his meagre wages. A jog, around Parliament House, with a colleague. Afterwards, one of the two journalists, Nick Butterly of The West Australian, was stopped by a guard at the public entrance metal detectors, and asked to remove his t-shirt. She said, “I’m sorry sir you will have to take that off. It’s offensive.” The t-shirt featured a renowned headline from the New York Post: “Headless body in topless bar.” The Department of Parliamentary Services was asked to clarify what the rules are on t-shirt slogans, and who gets to determine what is, or is not, offensive. The official response was that Parliament had a longstanding policy of not allowing offensive messages on garments within the House. “Offensive messages may relate to a number of issues, including protest slogans, comments on murder or terrorism and those deemed to be not fitting the decorum of the House,” a statement read. This is barely a week after French newspaper Charlie Hebdo was attacked, millions around the world marched in favour of freedom of speech, violence around the world inspired by this issue is ongoing and the Australian Parliament came out in staunch support of freedom of speech. Barely a week after all that very vocal support for a French newspaper, an Australian journalist wearing the headline of an American paper is told to strip naked. This either shows that the Australian Parliament completely misunderstands what free speech is…or that female security guard has just bestowed on the world one of the finest examples of irony ever. It’s possible that she has the greatest sense of timing and humour in all of history, and we’ve all missed the joke. However, I doubt it. So in relation to freedom of speech, the Australian Government’s position is pretty much: “Yeah mate, we’re all for it. Go for it champion. Say whatever you like. Free country and all that… What’s that now?...

My new regular column “The most Australian thing to happen this week (imho)”… For The Big Smoke. Check it out!

A journalist went for a jog.

Not for a drink, a smoke or a cry over his meagre wages.

A jog, around Parliament House, with a colleague. Afterwards, one of the two journalists, Nick Butterly of The West Australian, was stopped by a guard at the public entrance metal detectors, and asked to remove his t-shirt.

She said, “I’m sorry sir you will have to take that off. It’s offensive.”

The t-shirt featured a renowned headline from the New York Post: “Headless body in topless bar.”

The Department of Parliamentary Services was asked to clarify what the rules are on t-shirt slogans, and who gets to determine what is, or is not, offensive.

The official response was that Parliament had a longstanding policy of not allowing offensive messages on garments within the House.

“Offensive messages may relate to a number of issues, including protest slogans, comments on murder or terrorism and those deemed to be not fitting the decorum of the House,” a statement read.

This is barely a week after French newspaper Charlie Hebdo was attacked, millions around the world marched in favour of freedom of speech, violence around the world inspired by this issue is ongoing and the Australian Parliament came out in staunch support of freedom of speech.

Barely a week after all that very vocal support for a French newspaper, an Australian journalist wearing the headline of an American paper is told to strip naked.

This either shows that the Australian Parliament completely misunderstands what free speech is…or that female security guard has just bestowed on the world one of the finest examples of irony ever. It’s possible that she has the greatest sense of timing and humour in all of history, and we’ve all missed the joke.

However, I doubt it.

So in relation to freedom of speech, the Australian Government’s position is pretty much:

“Yeah mate, we’re all for it. Go for it champion. Say whatever you like. Free country and all that… What’s that now? On your t-shirt. I mean you can say whatever you like, but no need to take the piss… Sure free speech, I know, you’re right, but within reason. Ya know? Like there are limits…”

How Aussie is that?

“Sure mate, do whatever you want. Except for that. Right there, that’s not on.”

If only the same limits on “free speech” were applied to Parliamentary Question Time, then we might finally and for once get some decent questions asked and answered.

Or better yet, if Parliamentary Question Time was held to the same high standards of humour as that journalists t-shirt, we might end up with something worth watching.

This article first appeared in The Big Smoke:

http://thebigsmoke.com.au/2015/01/23/check-freedom-of-speech-door-thanks-champ/

Xavier Toby is a writer and comedian

Follow me on Twitter: @xaviertoby

Like me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/xaviertoby

Buy my first book (read a bit for free):

http://uwap.uwa.edu.au/products/mining-my-own-business

For speaking engagements, comedy performances, writing assignments and all other enquires: me@xaviertoby.com

0

The best way to beat festive stress

The festival season might be run and done, but here’s a quick glance back at something we all have to deal with every holiday season… So you know what the whole festive holiday season means to me? Stress. Rushing to do too much in too little time, traffic and crawling around overstuffed multi-level carparks. If anything proves the existence of the devil, it’s carparks. No matter how many levels high they might be, it always feels like you’re underground and surrounded by urine and crime. Once trapped inside, you crawl around looking for a park or an exit, and there’s always a point when you feel as though you’re never going to find either. Carparks for me are a reminder of what really happens during the holiday season. Before the break begins, you imagine it will be filled with all the fun stuff you never had time for during the year, but you never budget for the time wasted in carparks. To properly enjoy your leisure time, you make sure everything else is done first, but when that stuff doesn’t get done, you run out of time for fun. The way life is structured, we always seem to leave the things that we enjoy most until last. The holidays are the one time of year when I’m sure it’s not going to happen again, and then it happens again. All those little obligations slice away at your holiday pie until it’s all over way too soon; tasks you don’t see coming, or because they’re so mundane, you assume they won’t take any time at all. Picking up relatives from the airport, lining up at the deli, parking the car. Which all used to make me super-stressed. Then, with everyone constantly reminding me that it’s the exact opposite of what this time of year is supposed to be about, it just stressed me out even more. So you know what I’ve realised? It’s not all about me. A lot of these obligations involve us doing things for other people. Maybe you’d prefer not to go to so many family functions, to drive...

The festival season might be run and done, but here’s a quick glance back at something we all have to deal with every holiday season…

So you know what the whole festive holiday season means to me? Stress.

Rushing to do too much in too little time, traffic and crawling around overstuffed multi-level carparks.

If anything proves the existence of the devil, it’s carparks. No matter how many levels high they might be, it always feels like you’re underground and surrounded by urine and crime.

Once trapped inside, you crawl around looking for a park or an exit, and there’s always a point when you feel as though you’re never going to find either.

Carparks for me are a reminder of what really happens during the holiday season. Before the break begins, you imagine it will be filled with all the fun stuff you never had time for during the year, but you never budget for the time wasted in carparks.

To properly enjoy your leisure time, you make sure everything else is done first, but when that stuff doesn’t get done, you run out of time for fun.

The way life is structured, we always seem to leave the things that we enjoy most until last. The holidays are the one time of year when I’m sure it’s not going to happen again, and then it happens again.

All those little obligations slice away at your holiday pie until it’s all over way too soon; tasks you don’t see coming, or because they’re so mundane, you assume they won’t take any time at all. Picking up relatives from the airport, lining up at the deli, parking the car. Which all used to make me super-stressed.

Then, with everyone constantly reminding me that it’s the exact opposite of what this time of year is supposed to be about, it just stressed me out even more.

So you know what I’ve realised? It’s not all about me. A lot of these obligations involve us doing things for other people.

Maybe you’d prefer not to go to so many family functions, to drive back and forth from the airport, to return to that overcrowded shopping centre because your aunty forgot the custard. But you do it because you’re a good person and you care about others. The only change is, I’ve decided to do it with a smile.

So I’ve accepted that part of my holidays will be spent stuck in traffic, in shopping crowds and telling relatives I’m still not married, I don’t have a real job, and I’m basically failing at adult life.

I’ve realised there’s no point doing all these things for others if I’m carrying around a horrible attitude. Nobody gives you fewer tasks and obligations because of your bad mood, all you’re doing is dragging everyone down with you.

Whatever happens, however I feel, no matter if I’m seething inside, I now try to smile and crack jokes. I have the best time I can in the situation I’m in.

Then yesterday, I had a surprising experience after 40 minutes in a carpark. I discovered that, through a forced smile, it’s still possible to very loudly shout obscenities.

People looked at me concerned, but then they saw I was smiling and they smiled back. Which made me smile for real.

This article first appeared in The Brisbane Courier Mail:

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/opinion/opinion-the-best-way-to-beat-festive-stress/story-fnihsr9v-1227170376226

Xavier Toby is a writer and comedian

Follow me on Twitter: @xaviertoby

Like me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/xaviertoby

Buy my first book (read a bit for free):

http://uwap.uwa.edu.au/products/mining-my-own-business

Email me if you dare and/or want: me@xaviertoby.com

0

Men get lonely. So what? Tell someone who cares

“Hey you. If you’ve got a problem, do something about it. Don’t talk about it. Nobody cares.” As a man, I’ve heard this before. All the time actually, and in several different ways. After a girlfriend cheated on me, when I was shattered and expressed a need to discuss it, a friend told me: “You need to stop talking and thinking about it right now. Nobody cares.” When I was having a particularly hard time while performing at a comedy festival a female friend said: “Nobody likes the sad guy. Stop being the sad guy.” When I asked a family member for advice, he said: “You’ve never asked before. So why ask now? Actually, the best advice I can give you is to figure it out for yourself.” When I wanted some career advice from a manager at work I was told: “A man’s job is to provide. You want a family? You won’t have time for feelings or any of that shit.” I caught up with a friend to “talk”. He said, “You wanted to talk? So start talking. I’m watching the footy.” A study has just been released, which has found that “lonely men lose friends when life gets busy”. Apparently as work, family and other commitments eat up their time, men have less time for friends. Here’s a survey question I’d like to ask: “Where’s the survey that doesn’t just state the blindingly obvious while pretending it’s actually important?” Then here’s a rule for newspapers: “No more telling us common sense things as if they’re news. Unless you also tell us something worth knowing.” According to this survey, one in four Australian men between 30 and 65 years of age have few or no social connections, and loneliness and isolation are common. My response? SO WHAT? BIG DEAL! NOBODY CARES. Every one of my friends, male or female, has mostly or completely disappeared as they’ve settled into long-term relationships, started families, moved away, etc. You only have so many hours in a day, and as your commitments increase, your time for friends whittles away to almost zero....

“Hey you. If you’ve got a problem, do something about it. Don’t talk about it. Nobody cares.”

As a man, I’ve heard this before. All the time actually, and in several different ways. After a girlfriend cheated on me, when I was shattered and expressed a need to discuss it, a friend told me:

“You need to stop talking and thinking about it right now. Nobody cares.”

When I was having a particularly hard time while performing at a comedy festival a female friend said:

“Nobody likes the sad guy. Stop being the sad guy.”

When I asked a family member for advice, he said:

“You’ve never asked before. So why ask now? Actually, the best advice I can give you is to figure it out for yourself.”

When I wanted some career advice from a manager at work I was told:

“A man’s job is to provide. You want a family? You won’t have time for feelings or any of that shit.”

I caught up with a friend to “talk”. He said,

“You wanted to talk? So start talking. I’m watching the footy.”

A study has just been released, which has found that “lonely men lose friends when life gets busy”. Apparently as work, family and other commitments eat up their time, men have less time for friends.

Here’s a survey question I’d like to ask:

“Where’s the survey that doesn’t just state the blindingly obvious while pretending it’s actually important?”

Then here’s a rule for newspapers:

“No more telling us common sense things as if they’re news. Unless you also tell us something worth knowing.”

According to this survey, one in four Australian men between 30 and 65 years of age have few or no social connections, and loneliness and isolation are common.

My response?

SO WHAT? BIG DEAL! NOBODY CARES.

Every one of my friends, male or female, has mostly or completely disappeared as they’ve settled into long-term relationships, started families, moved away, etc.

You only have so many hours in a day, and as your commitments increase, your time for friends whittles away to almost zero.

I don’t understand how this is news.

I’m not sure if it’s more a problem for men or women. I am a man, and I’ve noticed it happening to me. It’s called life.

So apparently this is an epidemic. Yes, life is an epidemic. It affects every one of us. The only cure is death.

Look, I’m sure some men are depressed and could do with more friends. So go and find someone to hang out with.

You’re sad and lonely? Go outside, go somewhere, do something, and keep trying until you stop feeling sad and lonely.

If you’ve got a problem, go and fix it. Stop whining about it. Seriously, there are so many bigger, harder and more challenging problems in the world than the combination of your loneliness and laziness that has led to you feeling sorry for yourself.

Go and talk to a professional if you want. No shame in it.

Simply put, refer to statement one, as above. It’s been told to me for a reason it’s spot on. Here it is again:

If you’ve got a problem, do something about it. Don’t talk about it. Nobody cares.

This article first appeared in The Big Smoke:

http://thebigsmoke.com.au/2014/12/30/men-get-lonely-tell-someone-cares/

Xavier Toby is a writer and comedian

Follow me on Twitter: @xaviertoby

Like me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/xaviertoby

Buy my first book (read a bit for free):

http://uwap.uwa.edu.au/products/mining-my-own-business

For speaking engagements, comedy performances, writing assignments and all other enquires: me@xaviertoby.com

0

“How to handle annoying air passengers” survey is SO ANNOYING

Want to read the most pointless and stupid advice ever offered about air travel? Take a look at THIS article on the Daily Mail… Maybe it’s not the MOST pointless or stupid…but please don’t point me to anything more idiotic, as I might actually dig the eyes out of my own skull with my own fingers out of pure frustration and anger, instead of just seriously thinking about it. As I am right now? So someone surveyed 1,000 travellers and found that they find a whole lot of stuff annoying when travelling by plane. This survey goes right at the top of my ever-growing pile of: “Painfully obvious surveys the world never needed.” Otherwise known as: “People will read this because of the promise of something interesting and relevant to their own lives, which is never, ever delivered.” So it turns out, the things air travellers find most annoying are all extremely obvious and bland. Of course. The best/worst part of this survey though, are the absolutely moronic suggestions for how to deal with them. These ideas are brain-smashingly poor. I’ve seen squashed insects come up with more coherent suggestions. The fact that upright walking and perhaps talking beings were paid to put this together, then others of my same species thought it was a good idea to distribute this junk, and still others in numbers way too numerous to survey might even be contemplating these suggestions…well, it all makes me want to leave for Mars. As on that planet, there’s no human life, and all humans expire the moment they arrive. Just, ugh. Still it’s easy to criticise, and it’s fun. That’s why I do it so often. However criticism without ideas for improvement is talkback radio, or the current Australian parliament. Basically, it’s only for the poorest examples of humanity. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll list the complaint, the percentage of people who complained, Expedia’s weird suggestion for dealing with it, why that’s stupid and then my suggestions. Not very entertaining to explain, but it’ll be ace to read I promise. Here we go… Annoying...

Want to read the most pointless and stupid advice ever offered about air travel?

Take a look at THIS article on the Daily Mail…

Maybe it’s not the MOST pointless or stupid…but please don’t point me to anything more idiotic, as I might actually dig the eyes out of my own skull with my own fingers out of pure frustration and anger, instead of just seriously thinking about it.

As I am right now?

So someone surveyed 1,000 travellers and found that they find a whole lot of stuff annoying when travelling by plane.

This survey goes right at the top of my ever-growing pile of:

“Painfully obvious surveys the world never needed.”

Otherwise known as:

“People will read this because of the promise of something interesting and relevant to their own lives, which is never, ever delivered.”

So it turns out, the things air travellers find most annoying are all extremely obvious and bland. Of course.

The best/worst part of this survey though, are the absolutely moronic suggestions for how to deal with them. These ideas are brain-smashingly poor. I’ve seen squashed insects come up with more coherent suggestions.

The fact that upright walking and perhaps talking beings were paid to put this together, then others of my same species thought it was a good idea to distribute this junk, and still others in numbers way too numerous to survey might even be contemplating these suggestions…well, it all makes me want to leave for Mars. As on that planet, there’s no human life, and all humans expire the moment they arrive.

Just, ugh.

Still it’s easy to criticise, and it’s fun. That’s why I do it so often. However criticism without ideas for improvement is talkback radio, or the current Australian parliament. Basically, it’s only for the poorest examples of humanity.

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’ll list the complaint, the percentage of people who complained, Expedia’s weird suggestion for dealing with it, why that’s stupid and then my suggestions. Not very entertaining to explain, but it’ll be ace to read I promise.

Here we go…

Annoying air passenger 1: Rear-Seat Kicker – 67 percent

Their suggestion: Offer the child (or adult) candy or even a breath mint to stop.

The problem: The adult or parent will suspect that you’re a pedophile.

My suggestion: Ask the person or a parent to politely stop kicking your seat, or just sit there and angrily do nothing because you’re terrified of confrontation, like most of us.

Annoying air passenger 2: Screaming, whiny kids – 64 percent

Their suggestion: Offer to buy the kids an in-flight movie.

The problem: Again, suspected pedophile. I’m actually beginning to have my own suspicions about whoever put this article together.

My suggestion: Once more, just ask nicely. Or slip the kid a sleeping tablet. Or speak to a flight attendant. Dealing with this shit is their job.

Annoying air passenger 3: Smelly people – 56 percent

Their suggestion: Ask to move, or swipe a chapstick under your nostrils.

The problem: What sort of weird chap always carries a chapstick?

My suggestion: Take a dump on them. One way to cover up their smell is to go with a worse smell. Or smoke. Or just get really drunk, and then tell them yourself.

Annoying air passenger 4: Loud music – 51 percent

Their suggestion: Noise cancelling headphones.

The problem: Who’s got noise cancelling headphones?

My suggestion: Ask the person to turn down their music. Or just stop being such an uptight a-hole your damn self.

Annoying air passenger 5: Boozer – 50 percent

Their suggestion: Ask the flight attendant to stop serving the person.

The problem: Drinking is fun.

My suggestion: Join them, ask to change seats, slip them a sleeping tablet, put your headphones in, I don’t know. Maybe ask them, “Why do you think she left you? Isn’t it obvious?”

Annoying air passenger 6: Chatty person – 43 percent

Their suggestion: Pretend to fall asleep.

The problem: For the entire flight, you have to pretend to be asleep.

My suggestion: Boozing, loud music, or soiling yourself. Or just politely put up with their chat and hope you don’t crash, because no life should end with poor conversation.

Annoying air passenger 7: Carry-on baggage offenders – 39 percent

Their suggestion: Try to break stuff in their bag and tell the flight attendant.

The problem: Nobody cares, except the person whose stuff is now broken.

My suggestion: Take their bag out and put it on the floor. Then jump up and down on it and yell, “It’s not a bag it’s a trampoline!” Then take a dump on it. Yes, most of my suggestions literally are shit. Just like Expedia’s.

Annoying air passenger 8: Armrest hog – 38 percent

Their suggestion: Offer them a drink if you can have the armrest for the next hour.

The problem: Isn’t it obvious?

My suggestion: It’s only an armrest. So either put up with it, or break their arm. No arm? No need for an armrest.

Annoying air passenger 9: Seat-back guy – 37 percent

Their suggestion: Scream in pain.

The problem: The person’s seat is still back.

My suggestion: Scream in pain. It’s fun. Or just deal with it. What else can you do?

Annoying air passenger 10: Queue jumper – 35 percent

Their suggestion: Ignore it.

The problem: This one, I also agree with.

My suggestion: Speculate on what of a waste of a life the person must be living and how selfish they are to ignore the simple fact that you’re all in it together.

Three final things to mention on this idiotic, horrible survey.

1) The compilers don’t comprehend how percentages work. Or was it just one of those “tick what you don’t like” ones, which prove nothing?

2) It was an American survey. Meaning Americans either like to complain a lot, or flying anywhere in America is hell, or it was pointless survey.

3) Regardless of your complaints, you’re on a plane. Flying through the air at a great speed and a low cost to a destination it’d otherwise take you days or weeks to reach. So just settle down.

This article first appeared in The Big Smoke:

http://thebigsmoke.com.au/2014/12/27/handle-annoying-air-passengers-survey-annoying/

Xavier Toby is a writer and comedian

Follow me on Twitter: @xaviertoby

Like me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/xaviertoby

Buy my first book (read a bit for free):

http://uwap.uwa.edu.au/products/mining-my-own-business

For speaking engagements, comedy performances, writing assignments and all other enquires: me@xaviertoby.com

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