Who’s first in line here? The sleeping bag human, or the rubbish bin? Both are green… with envy.

This article first appeared in the Sunday Herald Sun

ARE you so excited about the new iPhone 7 that you’re going to line up for it?

You really shouldn’t.

You wait in line for things that are in short supply, not things that are mass-produced.

Spending hours in a queue just so you can have something hours before someone else is just plain stupid. Your time would be far better spent at the mirror store, so you can buy one and have a good hard look at yourself.

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This article first appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail

So many stupid questions and too many stupid people, it’s Parliamentary Question Time!

I mean, it must be called ‘Question Time’ for a reason.

Really, at some point it’d be just wonderful if someone asked a question, and someone else attempted to answer it. Read More

This article first appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail

Last week I went to IKEA for the first time.

After taking five steps inside, I was lost. Read More

This woman is not my wife, but both are pregnant and sometimes on trains.

This article first appeared in the Herald Sun

IT’S the little things that annoy me most and when they pile up one after the other — and oh how I wish this wasn’t true — sometimes, I snap.

It’s usually in the most ineffectual, middle class and white way as possible.

I might forcefully close a door, use a stern tone with the dog or, if I’m really angry, refuse to thank the barista for my morning half-caff soy latte.

They’re all tiny rebellions that only I notice and only I regret for days afterwards. Read More

In the overwhelming majority of cases, statements like these couldn’t be further from the truth.

Some men do acknowledge that for the women it’s just a job. As enjoyable as working in a call centre or selling charity subscriptions on the street, but still a valid choice for earning a living.

Then anytime a prostitute pops up on a panel show, writes a guest column or gets interviewed, they seem to deliver the same message: working in the sex industry is actually pretty great. Read More

This article first appeared in the Sunday Herald Sun

It’s always a case of too much skin, not enough gym. Also, the sale of leather pants, denim shorts and crop tops to anyone who isn’t a supermodel or rock star needs to come with a fine.

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