Posted on April 21, 2017 by Xavier Toby

Collingwood can’t even get it calf right with Daniel Wells

Daniel Wells starring for Collingwood in the VFL - each kick worth about $50k.

Daniel Wells starring for Collingwood in the VFL – with each kick worth at least $50k.

This article first appeared on The Roar

Hey Collingwood supporters, most other football supporters, and anyone who reads from the rear of the newspaper.

You have to back off me and the rest of Daniel, Danny, Dan the big money making man. Or as I know him, Norm, because if you remember the old TV ads, ‘Life Be in It’.

Norm, he does train hard. Enough. You tell me another high school educated 32 year-old on $600,000 a year, for three years, who wears a tracksuit to work and didn’t invent some social media app that I’ll never understand or use, because I’m his calf muscle. The injured one.

You may wonder why I’m speaking out, but, you know, why not? It’s not like I’ve got much on, apart from training every Tuesday at 1pm for half an hour.

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Posted on April 2, 2017 by Xavier Toby

There’s nothing social about social media

leave-the-phone-off

This article first appeared in the Herald Sun

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, call it what you like but it ain’t social

Almost everything online seems to be named badly. What’s more anti-social than social media? You do it alone, or if you’re surrounded by others, you ignore them. And it broadcasts to the online world what a great time you’re having with the very people you’re ignoring.

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Posted on February 3, 2017 by Xavier Toby

Uniform attire suits you, Sir

Suit Game

This article first appeared in the Herald Sun

EVERY man looks good in a good suit.

A great suit then gives a man an air of importance he doesn’t necessarily deserve, and that needs to change.

An ill-fitting suit makes a man look like he’s a door-to-door salesman, a charming ragamuffin who lives out of a tattered suitcase and can hold a tune, or a guilty defendant.

However, any man in a sharp suit is in charge, knows exactly what he’s talking about and, if he’s a defendant, he’s either innocent or so rich he’s above the law.

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Posted on January 27, 2017 by Xavier Toby

We now prefer monsters to moderates

Cookies

This article first appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail

POLITICIANS of the world, it’s time to evolve or perish.

People are sick of your continuous sidestepping, meaningless waffling, and endless flip-flopping.

Well, let’s hope that’s the hidden message in this global shift to the far right of the political spectrum.

What if the supporters of One Nation, Donald Trump, Brexit and other far right-wing nationalist movements aren’t all a bunch of racists and nincompoops?

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Posted on January 20, 2017 by Xavier Toby

Apps. What is the point of them?

nokia phone_1

This article first appeared in the Herald Sun and Rendezview

Can you think of anything in the world that claims to be so useful, but is so completely useless, as the majority of mobile phone applications?

Apps are the virtual version of every infomercial.

All glitz, glamour and promises, but in reality so much wasted effort for very little return.

They are the electronic exercise bike, pixelated pasta maker, virtual vacuum sealer, pointless gigabytes worth of non-fat grills and multiple miracle pillows worth of wasted memory and money.

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