Posted on May 25, 2016 by Xavier Toby
  Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Let’s get down to a matter of facts

Fried Chicked Donut and Beer

The fried chicken donut – it’s real! Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken – Washington, DC

This article first appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail

SO I keep getting tangled in endless and pointless debates, especially online.

There are the people who claim Donald Trump isn’t racist, or that the climate isn’t changing, that it’s all just a big scam started by left-wing lunatics.

And nobody should listen to the feminists because they won’t rest until all men are either castrated or dead.

So much like a morbidly obese man at an all-you-can-eat buffet, I’ve had enough.

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Posted on May 19, 2016 by Xavier Toby
  Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

That’s not how you spell your Mum’s name – Spelling the FIFO way


The guys I have worked with over my years in the construction and mining industry, they were able to speak English, but stuff me if they could spell it.

It’s actually an industry-wide problem, and among the many examples I’ve personally experienced of borderline unintelligible written communications from so-called supervisors, I know for a fact that one major mining company continually sends project managers, with annual salaries of over a quarter of a million dollars, off to emergency remedial English courses designed for sixteen year-olds.

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Posted on May 11, 2016 by Xavier Toby
  Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

The Dangers of being a DIDO


Mining sites are very dangerous places, even with all the modern day safety regulations, but for many, getting to work can be just as dangerous as being there.

Plenty but still not enough has been said about the mental health of FIFOs, the workers who fly in and out on chartered planes from mining sites, and this is an ongoing issue.

Far less attention has been given to the DIDOs. These are the the workers who drive in and out from the mining sites, and sometimes it’s a return trip of over 1800 kms.

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Posted on April 20, 2016 by Xavier Toby
  Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Sexual depravity on mining sites


Out at many Australian mining sites, the men are hundreds and often thousands of kilometers away from friends and family for weeks at a time, and they get very lonely.

As a result, things often become extremely freaky, and during my time as a FIFO (fly in fly out) worker on a coal mine, I witnessed plenty of sexual depravity.

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Posted on April 5, 2016 by Xavier Toby
  Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

So you’re ‘trying’ for a baby? Gross. Keep it to yourself


This article first appeared in the Courier Mail and the Daily Telegraph

Recently I caught up with two old high school friends and their wives.

They’re in their mid-thirties, same as me, but unlike me have houses, furniture that’s not made from milk crates and adequately paying jobs.

I was there for the free food and wine but also because I occasionally like to check in with those I have little in common with, to observe how they navigate through this life. It’s the same reason I go to the zoo and stare at the people there.

The majority of things that come out of these people’s mouths are utterly unmemorable — imagine silence… but an annoying silence. Then they’ll come out with something amazing.

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